Who knows why he ‘s winking?!
On many introduction sites, including our own, there is every possibility to show interest in a man you find attractive. It’s possible “to wink”, to send a virtual postcard, to “surprise”, to greet with an icebreaker, and also to add him to a list of friends or the ‘favorites’ folder, about which he will be immediately informed. Even the language barrier is not a hindrance.
People relate differently to such signs of attention. Many – quite skeptically consider this a sign of lazy indifference. Some even categorically state in their forms “I do not answer winking”. They are convinced that it is possible to express interest only by writing a long personal letter. However, is this true?
Now imagine not virtual, but a real such acquaintances. How would you feel, if a strange man on the street or in the bus suddenly, and with enthusiasm will begin to tell you about his life, or his work? I expect you will be in a complete state of confusion and bewilderment, attempting in vain to recall where and when you met him before. Happily, people that behave normally rarely place us in similar situations.
Do you recollect how random encounters usually occur, often determining one’s entire life? A man, displaying a show of attention, will give special signals through gestures, facial expressions or looks. If you have no desire to encourage his approach – you can simply let these signals “go unnoticed”, and if you do find him interesting and likable – to answer in kind. By reciprocating, in fact you give a “go ahead”, allowing prospect for a dialogue, forming an acquaintance, and even something more meaningful. However, it is completely unnecessary to await the initiative from others – you can send such signals yourself, which does not obligate you in anything, nor does it contradict any ethical standards.
Now, let’s return to making virtual acquaintances. Divided by thousands of kilometers, we can’t demonstrate our interest with facial expressions or gestures, but we can send and electronic “wink”, a virtual postcard, a ‘surprise’, to include a man of interest in the friends list, or add him into the “favorites’ folder. Together with such virtual jests you can also send a personal page link. So they become not only expressions of sympathy and interest, but an invitation to look at photographs and to read a profile.
If you receive a little virtual signal of affection, don’t be offended at the man for being too lazy to write a letter. Whatever he wanted everyone to hear about himself is already in his profile, but he is not sure yet if you should be the one to hear anything more personal. Be glad that among thousands of others he paid attention to you in particular, and visit his page. If you should find him attractive, you can begin a dialogue and learn more about each other. However, if he is not a hero of your novel – simply politely thank him for showing you attention.
Using virtual signs of attention has one more advantage, concerned specifically with international relationships. Girls from Russia and other countries of Eastern Europe sometimes hesitate to be the first to show initiative in making contact, regarding this as a sign of neediness and ‘being easy’, and according to tradition they await for the men to show initiative. However in some western countries a display of initiative from a man can be interpreted as tactlessness, and even sexual advance. As a result both girls and man fall into a state of passive expectation, not being confident to make the first step and write the letter to a person they are attracted to. The ‘winks’ that create no obligations, ‘surprises’ and others small virtual signals of attention and affection help to overcome this barrier and display one’s sympathy for a stranger.
Don’t be shy while exploring the member files, to wink first and send small messages to all who arouse your interest. It costs nothing to you, but receivers will be pleased to have them, and don’t be upset if not all will reply to you. After all, through such acts you inundate the site with positive energy which will undoubtedly return to you.
Emile Durkheim (1857-1917)
To save the world requires faith and courage: faith in reason, and courage to proclaim what reason shows to be true.
Take Pause To Ponder What They Meant (Keys to human nature)
What do these say to you?
“I’ll moider da bum.” –
Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare
“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.” –
“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” –
“Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.” –
“The average person thinks he isn’t.” –
Father Larry Lorenzoni
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