|Questions and Answers
Dear Dr. Karamzin,How difficult is it for a Russian child to adapt to life in a foreign country? The child I am thinking of is l2 year old girl, she’ll be l3 if I marry her Russian mother, and would live in Southern California. I have been to Russia twice to see the mother and daughter. They live in a relatively small city. Southern California is very large and almost like a different planet than their small city. The daughter seems to like me, but she is a very quiet child. She is sensitive and cries easily. Her English is poor. I am very concerned about the morality of bringing her to the U.S. as a teenager and what I think will be many, many adjustment problems for her. I don’t want to hurt this child in any way, and am very concerned that taking her away from her Russian environment, even with her mother, might be harmful to her. Both she and her mother want to come here, both say they love me, but, as I said, I am really concerned about this child and want to protect her, to the extent that I will give up on the relationship with the mother and the daughter if I think that it is against the child’s interests in migrating to the U.S. at her age. What do you think? Thank you so much for your advice!
What do you think of a Russian woman who would snap in anger at me when she feels bad physically, lies, makes Anti-American remarks, and says negative things about my father? I have known her four months, and was about to petition for her to come to the U.S. on a fiance visa, and then all these things surfaced over the weekend. Thanks for your response.
This is quite a wierd question, but I have problems with my family and is it possible to totally leave home and just disappear from there lives? Or will they report me as missing? I have come to a conclusion that my life can not get any better unless I can totally exclude myself from them. I keep getting the feeling that it isnt possible and that I will be stuck with them for the rest of my life no matter what. Has this been done and did it work?
I have some concernes about some of the wording in my test overview
and was wondering what can be done about it. I did try to answer the
questions as best I could and how I feel the answers relate to me.
There is a part in the overview that states I do not take blame, I
cover my ass, and cover up mistakes. That is not even close. I do try
to research and think ahead as to avoid making mistakes and therefore
I suppose „cover my ass″ before the fact. However, if I make a mistake
I have no problem admitting it and accepting the consequenses. To say
that I cover up mistakes and try to find myself blameless makes me
sound like a liar. I will not take the blame for someone else’s
mistake unless I had an implication in it. If I told a coworker to do
something that turned out to be wrong, I would readily accept
responsibility. If there is any way that you can help me with this,
please let me know.
I’ve graduated from the University. I’ve met a girl and I like hervery much. But she is so rich! What should I do? I’m afraid to ask.
What is the attitude of the Russian woman if I want to move to Russia to marry and to live with her? Should I
expect cultural problems to fit in and be accepted? I know some Russian language and intend to learn more,
although it is difficult. Especially the Cyrillic alphabet! Excuse my being presumptuous but I have been reading
Russian classic literature for all my life!
How difficult is it for a Russian child to adapt to life in a foreign country…
You are absolutely right. Despite its flexibility, adolescence is a hard age for adjustment. Being at the stage of self-actualization, teenagers would not miss a chance to demonstrate their strength and superiority to their counterparts. A girl stranger with sensitive and vulnerable nature will find it hard to match anything against them having no experience of life in the foreign country. Issue of language is not as troublesome. As a rule, children and teenagers, being introduced to a foreign linguistic environment, learn the language faster than adults. But there is another problem, which is much more serious. There is a fundamental difference between school system in US and Russia. The girl will have to adjust to a crucially different school program in the very middle of the educational process. But, on the other hand, all these problems can be solved successfully if the parents are willing to help, support and protect their child. Children can be happy only when their parents are happy. Sacrificing your happiness for the sake of the girl’s well-being will not inure to the child’s benefit.
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What do you think of a Russian woman who would snap in anger at me when…
I don’t know the reasons for her behavior; but anyway you should reconsider your relations seriously. I believe that no personal disagreement can give rise to insulting one’s parents and all the more so offending the country you are going to live in. If the woman presumes to make such remarks in the very beginning of your relationship, what things should you expect of her in the future? I have no right to make decision for you and suggest that you part immediately. Maybe, she is really dear to you. However, one way or another, you should at least postpone your petition in respect of fiancee visa for her.
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This is quite a wierd question, but I have problems with my family and…
It is not the best idea to leave without letting anybody know about your decision. Your relatives will worry about you; they even might report to the police. You will remember about such a situation and this will make you feel guilty. If you really decided to live your own life, just tell your relatives about that. You should be prepared to face their objections, requests not to leave or even dramatics. But if your decision is really firm and you are willing to build your own life, their words will not stop you. Anyway, this way is fairer and more mature than just a coward escape.
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I have some concernes about some of the wording in my test overview…
Have you noticed that all your objections concern only the sphere of your business attitudes? You succeeded to work out a rather successful form of
intercourse. Sincerity is out of place in business and it is at least useless to deny mistakes that you failed to avoid. But, besides business
partnership, there are some personal relations, which can be intimate or friendly. They are powered by feelings and logically stated strategies have no
use there. Attempts to figure everything out in advance to avoid any mistakes damage them a lot. Your relations become faded, plain or even futureless.
The testing report you have was intended to warn you about that. I am grateful to you for your remarks. I will keep working upon the unambiguousness of
our reports to prevent further misconceptions of this kind.
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I’ve graduated from the University…
It is not she who is so rich but her parents. For the present momentyour achievements in life are equal. Both of you have just graduatedfrom the University and there is nothing to prevent you from feelinghead-to-head going around. Of course, there is another problem. Nobodyknows her parents’ reaction in such a case, but, unfortunately, I alsocannot foresee it.
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What is the attitude of the Russian woman if I want to move to Russia to marry and to live with her?
Russian women, and especially those of them who are not so young, want to marry a foreigner for some other
reasons besides a chance to move abroad. Nowadays Russian men are not intended to trouble themselves with family;
that is why, sick and tired of solitude, women from Russia seek for a foreign husband. Over the years spent in a
particular environment, a human becomes more and more attached to it, thus you can find a lot of women who will
gladly accept your proposal to live with them in Russia. Prices for main goods and services there are at least
five times less than in the West. Several thousands of dollars a month will be just enough to rent a house and
keep your family. You already know a little bit of Russian language and culture, thus you are not supposed to
have any problems with adaptation, and all the more so if you do not mean to work at your new place. Moreover,
there will be a loving person beside you who will certainly help you to manage with the changes.
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